You are doing everything you need to do, and even sometimes too much. All your unseen hard work will pay off soon. Stay focused on what you know you need to do, and don’t question yourself. Pace yourself—go slow, so you can enjoy all the steps. Money will work out fine—just not in the typical way.
Be patient with your progress. You aren’t going to have immediate success, but little by little you will experience rays of light—of hope. In the meantime, remember that your pain is not a problem—it may even be a huge asset and a teacher.
This is a note for my 2-years-ago self. Probably still relevant today, maybe for you too. If this resonates with you, fully accept this note as if it were written specifically for you today (it may have been).