What’s the difference between living by faith and living by default?
There’s so much back-and-forth in me: feeling hopeless, then feeling hopeful; feeling confident, then feeling helpless; feeling relationally solid, then feeling alone; feeling financially stable, then feeling resources are scarce; feeling healthy, then feeling like I’m getting sick (“I probably have covid,” he says for the 1000th time)…
I suppose I can change the word feelings… these aren’t feelings as much as they are thoughts. My thoughts are so back and forth.
…I can’t let my thoughts direct my path, or I’ll go in circles my entire life.
But, if my thoughts don’t direct me, what will? I don’t want to go nowhere.
You are already going somewhere.
Then, I don’t want to go to a somewhere that I don’t like! People who aren’t intentional — who let things happen… don’t they end up unhappy, dissatisfied… don’t they end up nowhere? Isn’t that “living by default?” Isn’t that not what I’m trying to do? I want to live intentionally, not by default.
What is the difference between living by default — without purpose — and living free, letting go and trusting the Current?
It seems like the alternative to both living by default and living free are the same in my current mindset: Striving and worrying. And thinking all of the time, round and round, back and forth. A life that only amounts to what it can think up. An egoic existence. Disconnected from the vine. Trying harder. I don’t want that.
Surrendering to the Current… cooperating with the universe — with the Spirit, angels, God, and with creation, which is in alignment with the Creator, the Source… a life that amounts to infinitely more than my thoughts alone could ever come up with… a life that touches the world and is touched by the world… a life that is full of infinite moments — moments which last only an instant on the horizontal line of time, but which span infinitely vertical…
Not striving, not making it happen, yet fully intentional. How?
How does surrender coexist with powerful intention and action?
My mind can only imagine either (a) striving or (b) sleeping.
Both of these are unconscious. That’s a hint.
Another hint: resonance works on balance — effortless touch. An instrument (or anything else) is most resonance when it is held lightly.
This takes great intention, practice, determination, discipline. To NOT strive. To NOT quit. To REST AND to be AWAKE.
Another hint: cooperation. This requires give and take. Listening and speaking. You can’t cooperate while disengaged; you can’t cooperate while striving, worrying, controlling.
Light. What an amazing word in this context.
Be awake. Open your eyes. Allow in the light.
Be at rest. Let your living be light.
The lightest touch.
That will be my intention and my practice today. The lightest touch.