A large part of my “task list” lately is to sit down and figure out what I’m thinking. Funny how such a foreign thought to me just a few years ago has now become the most important task on my list.
It’s been foreign for two reasons: 1. “Thinking” doesn’t feel to me like working, and working equals productivity equals value. Therefore, I don’t feel valuable by thinking. On top of that, this task is to figure out what I’m thinking - thinking about thinking - doubly worthless. 2. Why should anyone have to exert energy to “figure out what they’re thinking”? This task isn’t even logical.
I’ve learned that both of these reasons come from my limited perspective.
First, thinking-work is the most difficult and the most valuable because it aims your arrow. You only have one arrow. Better to aim before shooting.
Second, there is a perfectly good reason why someone should have to “figure out what they’re thinking”: We’re made of more than one layer. We can only consciously process one thing at a time, but we’re subconsciously working out lots of things all of the time - even during sleep. The conscious, surface layer is usually the least valuable layer, yet it’s the one which we give the most attention to… until something beneath the surface explodes.
We can learn from ourself - about our real motives, our real passions, important things we missed, insights about things happening in the spiritual realm. These lessons can inform our decisions better than the advice we work so hard to obtain from people who barely know us. But thinking is much harder than scheduling a coffee with someone we respect and asking their opinion, or reading another self-help book, or following in popular-culture-rut. Meanwhile we neglect the greatest and deepest source of wisdom and direction we’ve been given.