Cloudiness. This may be one of my biggest problems. Not lack of energy or capacity or even courage. But a lack of clarity. Particularly clarity in what is happening inside my self. It’s a crowded room in there. Lots of activity, voices, sentences, ideas - but combined, it’s just a lot of noise and leads to nowhere. Somewhere in there is my voice. Somewhere in there, the quietest voice, is God’s whisper.

My priority should not be on listening harder. My priority should be on silencing the room.

I know the world is not set up for this. My phone, internet, Twitter… It’s like we’re trying to avoid silence at all costs. Even in nature I’m tying myself up in knots. Or a straight jacket. We’re being rendered useless. And we’ll be in line again at 6AM to buy the next iPhone the day it comes out - like it’s a privilege to be continuously shut down and confused like this.

Would you agree that something is off here?

I Lack Internal Clarity